Nashville, This Is One Reason Why You're Fat - And It's Not McDonald's Fault

I was craving Italian tonight and considered phoning Carrabbas for takeout, but the drive (each way) would have put that immediate gratification off twenty minutes longer than a stop at a locally-owned place I'd always been meaning to ... but looked a nudge pricey for fare I've never heard anyone in Nashville rave about.  I ordered up two appetizers, thinking that would be the light option. Turned out to be a joke. After eating 1/4 to 1/3 of the calimari I ordered, this was what was left:

The McCormick's spice bottle is in the picture to help give you an idea of scale for this $9 or $10 (I forget exactly which) serving. In addition, the other appetizer was about the same price, a plate of cheese fritters. Again, huge serving. A supposedly fine-dining restaurant isn't supposed to give you that much food that's so totally bad for you. Two to three times the size of what an appetizer would have carried before the rise of chain restaurants and economies of scale made it look like diners were getting fantastic deals on huge amounts of food. Even with Italian, I would never have expected a single appetizer to feed three or more in a "fine" restaurant that doesn't bill itself as Family Style, where you order one item to feed a whole table.

For freshness and taste the food itself was good; better than the average Nashville Italian, and on par with typical upstate NY fare I grew up with. But, again, trying to match chain restaurants' economies of scale with local finer-dining prices is a loser. Conscientious eaters don't want to take home fried-food leftovers; no one wants to reheat an appetizer. When we see portions this size, on food we know we're not going to reheat, our psyches tell us to finish it all NOW.

30.8%. That's the Tennessee obesity rate, according to the CDC. And it's an appropriate fraction for the size the above appetizer would have been, back when my Mom was taking us out to dinner as kids. Perhaps it's also a coincidence the obesity rate was one third then, of what it is now.

Day 10 - Burger's Up: Mary's Notes

Our intention this day was to visit another of Nashville's traditional burger dives, but the hours listed on the web were wrong and we needed something that was open already at 10:30. So we drove from the Nolensville Road area to Melrose and our second choice wasn't open yet, either. Went four streets over and Burger Up, the new venture from the owner of the Frothy Monkey, was unlocked and ready for business, or at least it was ready to serve a margarita. Here's how it went:

Juiciness - 6. Most of the 1/2 teaspoon or so of drippage was in the form of grease more than juice.

Flavor - 10. There it is, finally, a 10 from me. Local, grass-fed beef flavor wins out. Burger Up's basic cheeseburger adds caché name-brands Jack Daniels for ketchup, Cabot's for cheese and über-hip (for Tennessee foodies, anyway) Benton's bacon; I'm pretty sure the burger would have tasted just fine without them.

Attractiveness - 7. It was a lovely burger. It was ordered medium rare and appeared to have the texture of a medium-rare but the meat was suspiciously grey, not pink.

Atmosphere - 9. Very 12 South; matted steel with some vintage wood thrown in and public-house style seating.

Digestivity - 5. Getting some pangs. I'm not sure if it was from the beef, grease from the bacon or the French fries, which, by the way, were seasoned with truffle shavings. Major points on the foodie scale, for both of the latter.

All photos ©Mary Brace 2013. All rights reserved

Overall experience - 8. In spite of finally finding a burger with flavor that beat out Dalt's (which will make all of my hipster friends very happy with me) the overall experience was brought down by two things: the above-mentioned pangs and the less-than-stellar margarita.  Burger Up's margarita seemed to venture too much into screw-driver territory. The $11 price tag on the burger can be justified by the gourmet burger craze, the $10 inferior cocktail, not so much.

afternote: this review was written in June but circumstances prevented posting it. On a return trip the burger was just as good, and no pangs. I don't get the margarita anymore, and it's a 10 every time.

update Dec. 2011. After Burger Up! we pretty much stopped rating Nashville burgers because nothing else we'd had up to that point could touch Miranda Pontes's burger in quality. Still, the Nashville burger universe is ever-expanding and if a great one is found, I'll write about it in the future.

Burger Up!

“Now I can't complain… I've got to admit it's getting better… A little better all the time…” Paul McCartney and John Lennon

A pleasant surprise is Burger Up and 12th and Paris. I had never HEARD of this place. It IS rather new. They need to print the back story on their menu. The beef is local out of Franklin. You will pay a little more for this place and you will enjoy it. Enough foreshadowing?

The Digs: It’s an open bright big windowed clean place. The extensive selection at the bar makes you know you will probably be paying a bit more than you normally would for a burger. I had a glass of wine with my burger that fit perfectly. The staff is damn attentive and they really make you feel like they WANT you there (without being clingy.)There wasn’t a BIG crowd but definitely some regulars at 11am.

At First Sight: I did not go for my usual condiments… I don’t think they could really ‘roll’ that way. But the ‘Woodstock’ burger, medium-rare looked great. It had some hickory bacon, cheese and barbecue sauce on it. It was NOT smothered, just enough of each ingredient to make a statement about the flavor. The TRUFFLE fries came in a cute little aluminum cup. (It's not about the fries, but they were ok.)

At First Bite: It wasn’t PINK inside but definitely medium-rare, the meat wasn’t too grey and it tasted fine and fresh. My FIRST bite was overpowered by the hickory bacon but as I continued with the burger, all of the flavors came out. So much so, I wanted to keep biting… and really wished I could have had more (though there was PLENTY burger there…)

The Finish: I have never been happier to spend 9 bucks on a burger (plus wine and some baby spinach so I can feel healthy?). For the first time in many weeks I am not disappointed by my visit to an establishment. Maybe I had no expectations? I HAVE to say it is certainly getting better. Burger Up was Mary’s call – I had better come up with a great suggestion for our next visit.

Score: 9.25

Gabby's - a little hideaway...

“I know a dark secluded place. A place where no one knows your face…” Hernando’s Hideaway from the musical ‘The Pajama Game’

OK not-so-dark but rather secluded is Gabbys… best described as ‘up behind Greer Stadium.’ I like the back story on this place. A corporate guy who wanted to spend more time with his family, he opened a burger joint. The lunch hours in the beginning were mid to late week only lunch but as business has caught on, the hours are slowly expanding. Good for them, NOW – how does this stuff taste?

The Digs: Not dark but oh so fluorescent light bright. Tile floors and people get there early. A lot of blue collar workers along with city employees and some law enforcement all frequent this place. A great mix of folk and no one you would know. The folk who work there have great attitudes and are perfect for the place. If you want to be anonymous, this is a good joint.

At First Sight: I didn’t get medium rare, but I got as rare as they could go… pretty decent. It did not look as juicy as I like and the burger is a tad smaller than I like, but decent flavor. The fries were those ‘skin on the end variety’ – not my fave but it completes a meal.

At First Bite: A fully cooked burger. But not DRY. Cheese mixed well with the condiments for a better than fast food burger. The bun was a bit big BUT the bun actually added to the overall flavor of the burger for me. I guess it helps when everything is fresh.

The Finish: Gabby’s is an oddball little place. And I mean that with love and respect. It’s bright with tile… you can almost smell the Lysol on the floor. Maybe in 20 years and few less mop swipes it will settle into the cement brick greasy burger joint it can be… but the burgers are good enough not to disappoint. You can go there and hang in a crowd – everyone will smile at you and no one will care who you are. Sometimes that goes great with a decent burger.

Score: 7.7.

Red Robin?

“You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.” Charles Kuralt

“Suspense is worse than disappointment.”
Robert Burns

I am not sure I would agree with the Poet Burns on the above quote.
Red Robin is touted as a great burger place, gourmet even? And they seem to be popping up all over. I must say their PR is GREAT, I had never been, and the commercial make it feel REALLY fun! Let’s continue...

The Digs: I experienced my burger twice. I had no time to meet with Mary so I called ahead grabbed the burger to go and hit the road… more on THAT in a moment. When I went back in I saw a place that wants to be fun… it is certainly a place the kiddos can go. Plenty of room for the Fam.

At First Sight: My first take out burger was flat and dry. I decided that I had not upheld my part of the taste-the-burger- in-the-restaurant pact so I cancelled this experience except to say… no take out. Burger I was given IN House… not so flat but still looked kind of dry. I DID ask for as rare as possible, this time.

At First Bite: As I have stated I am a mustard, onion and pickle kind of guy on those cheeseburgers. I am thinking that maybe some mayo or BUTTER would have freshened up my burger a bit. It wasn’t a desert but kind of dry… what f I dunked it in my diet coke?
The Finish: I was certainly expecting more… I certainly cannot believe my friends have such low expectations of burgers – but it did NOT hold up to its hype. Red Robin NOT rockin’ all night long!

Score: 5.0

Day 9: Gabby's - Mary's Notes

The International Culinary Tourism Association defines a destination restaurant as a "restaurant so interesting, different or special that people travel just to eat there." If sitting in the middle of one of Nashville's last remaining dead zones, within city limits, doesn't automatically qualify a place to claim that distinction, then perhaps Gabby's Burgers & Fries has enough of its own bizarre charm to carry it over the threshold.


Situated a block or few down Chestnut past Greer Stadium, the building that houses Gabby's reminds me of the makeshift cabins my friends and I sometimes fell across while exploring the woods of the Adirondack foothills. A base. Some two-by-fours covered over with the thinnest plywood imaginable. This shack takes it further by slapping a coat of paint on, adding a few tables, and hanging photos of country stars, probably leftovers from the days when the building housed Hap Townes, a legendary meat & three. Higgins and I have written of some places as divey, with cheap wood paneling. What separates these places, as classic burger joints, from Gabby's is that the more typical operation tries to hide the cheap surroundings by dimming the lights. Gabby's waves its freak flag high, in florescent glory.  On with the meat.


Juiciness: 3. Gabby's didn't fare well here. It probably didn't help that it was a five ounce patty, squished thin.

Flavor: 7. In spite of the dryness - and I don't know if it would have made a difference if I'd ordered medium rare, as I wasn't asked how I wanted it - the hand-formed patty was plenty tasty.

Attractiveness: 7. With the small size, the burger did threaten to get smothered in bun but overall it was a nice package. .

Atmosphere: Eeeeesh. Tough call. I'm still not sure if it's so awful it's great, or if it's just plain awful. The people behind the counter are a treat, though, absolutely. Staying neutral. 5.

Digestivity - a little after-burgerness is lingering, but not bad. 8.

Overall experience - 7. This is a place I'd return to, especially if I wanted to avoid certain people. And I would return for a burger at least once, to see if I could get it a little less well-done. 

Day 8: Red Robin - Mary's Notes

And then there are the times when a thing misrepresents itself so much that you have to speak up. The Red Robin burger, even more than the Burgers'-n-Cream burger, is a fast food burger billed and disguised as "gourmet." I chose RR because it was recommended by a friend whose taste I respected until about two hours ago.


I've read, in recent times, on internet message boards and industry mags about how processed food producers are employing research - both nutritional and anthropological - to induce consumers to buy and eat and buy and eat and buy and eat. For exmple, it's known that we like foods that are crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. We like sugar. We like fried fat. We like salt. If a food producer can give us everything we want in a small dense portion, that costs next-to-nothing to make, we'll return to the trough again and again without a thought. That information came to the forefront, almost from my second or third bite of an appetizer that offered a mix of two greasy and sweet and salty and crunchy exteriored and soft interiored items - onion rings and mozzarella sticks. Funny thing though, these foods had all that we love except any real flavor, unless you put them in the restaurant's dipping sauces. They looked beautiful though; perfectly formed and presented in a neat holder. Enough of that, let's get to the burger.

Juiciness - 3. This was a pre-made patty and "medium" was the restaurant's lowest-temp served. I looked closely to see if I might have been missing something but the interior was like Lake Lanier circa 2008. A little water, but not enough to float a boat.

Flavor - 4. There was some, in two areas where brown bits managed to form on the grill and mingle with the cheese.

Attractiveness - 9. This was a very pretty burger, as was all the food. Minus a point for pre-shredded lettuce.

Atmosphere 7 - The restaurant also was attractive, in an ADD Pizzeria Uno meets Hanna-Barbera kind of way.

Digestivity - 5. All that grease adds up and lingers.

Overall experience: 4 minus. I know that there are people who like this kind of place and this kind of food; they feel safe eating here, because if you've got a chain of restaurants across the country, you must be doing something right, right? You must be doing something that a lot of people all over the country like, right? As Oscar Wilde wrote, "for those who like that sort of thing, it's the sort of thing they like." If you're not, I'd recommend you try one of the other places - even the chains - Higgins and I gave better grades to.